Healing is a lifelong process

One of the biggest obstacles in recovering from childhood trauma is that we have a false idea that one day we will reach a fully healed state.

Do you want to say that I am going to suffer forever? - I hear you asking.

My answer is yes and no. Let me explain. 

Going through my own healing journey and witnessing my client’s recovery, I am confident in saying that having a beautiful, fulfilling life is possible. Creating loving relationships and learning to trust again is possible. Developing self-compassion is possible. 

But what tends to happen is that all the progress that you are making gets forgotten as soon as you regress back to old habits. You might have been managing your boundaries with your family for months, but you slipped. As a result, your internal dialogue uses that as a weapon to tell you that you are broken, you are a failure, you can never get better.

If the goal is perfection, you are set up to fail. 

How things would be easier if you had the following mindset about recovery?

I have been good at setting boundaries with my family for months, but at Christmas time I slipped and I let their criticism get to me. I went into a spiral about how I am not good enough and I felt helpless. It was a horrible experience, but I know that it was temporary regression. I know that I am on a journey of healing and I had a very difficult week. I am aware that certain things are difficult for me to handle but I am learning to manage better every day. 

Whilst perfection is unachievable, we can expect to evolve into having a lot more fulfilling lives.

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